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English Humor英语笑话

1 Bring Papa

Teacher: For final exam this time, you can take your textbooks, your notebooks, your dictionary etc., just as you do your homework as usual.

Frank: That sounds good. Then I can take my papa here.


老师:本次,你们可以带课本、笔记本、词典等,就像你们平常做作业一样。 弗里克:太好了,那我就可以把爸爸带来了。

2 Cat and crab

One day, a cat played near the lake. Suddenly, a crab clamped it. The cat is rather cross , it ran after the crab. After a while, that cat ran into the forest. A big brown spider making its net in the tree, the cat caught the big brown spider very fast, and the cat said to the big brown spider:" Did you think if you on the net, I will not know you? Yes, I still know you?!"



English Essay英文美文欣赏

Do you like autumn 你喜欢秋天么?

I do not know when, you fall softly on my red sweater, you put a flower as I have it? 不知什么时候,你轻轻地落在我鲜红的毛衣上,你把我也当成一朵花了吗?

Golden butterfly you! Whom you are dancing in it? Not smile flowers, grasses lost their luster. Oh, I see, you are in the garden that little daisy eyes. 金色的蝴蝶呀!你是在为谁而翩翩起舞呢?花儿没有了笑容,青草失去了光泽。哦,我明白了,你是在为园子里那眨着眼睛的小雏菊。

Golden butterflies, you are willing to pay my friend? Come! Flew into my books, accompanied by bright, I walked into the classroom金色的蝴蝶,你愿意和我交朋友吗?来吧!飞进我的课本,伴着我走进明亮的教室 。

Fall to, chrysanthemum opened. There are red, yellow, with purple, and white, very beautiful! 秋天到了,菊花开了。有红的,有黄的,有紫的,还有白的,美丽极了!

Do you like autumn? 你喜欢秋天吗?

My Hobbies

I have many hobbies, such as reading, skating, and watching TV. But reading is my favorite hobby. I like reading for three reasons. First of all, books introduce me to a new world, which is colorful and with no time and space limit,.Through reading, I can trace back to ancient Egypt, the cradle of human civilization. It can bring myself to the United states, a glamorous land I have been longing to visit. Secondly, reading can improve myself by showing me a new horizon. In the past years, most of my knowledge has been obtained from books. I have learned from many people by reading about their ideas on science, politics, life and society. Thirdly, reading bridges the gap between my dream and my goal. In order to succeed in my career in the future, I must keep reading, thinking and practicing. Reading has become part of my life. I love reading,



My Family

I have a happy family, my father and my mother and I. My father is tall. He likes to wear a suit, and he is the most handsome in my mind. Father is very good-hearted. he not only love me very much, but also like other children in our corridor.

Mother is thin, white hair long. She is not only my mother, or my bosom friend。 She is not only my mother but also my bosom friend! We love each other and also call each other our nicknames. She likes watching Beijing Opera at free time. She says it’s good for her to keep young and it can make her relaxed. I am a student in primary school. I study very hard and I am sure that a good performance in school is the best return for my parents,

My families are always doing what is best for me.They are always on my side.I love each person in my family. I love my sweet warm home.


我有一个幸福的家庭,爸爸,妈妈和我。我爸爸很高,他喜欢穿西装,在我心里,他是最帅的。爸爸心肠很好,不仅非常爱我,而且也喜欢楼道里的其他小朋友。 妈妈瘦瘦白白的,有一头长头发。她不仅是我的妈妈,更是我的知心好友。我们很爱彼此而且喜欢叫对方的外号。她空闲时候喜欢看京剧。她说看京剧是一种能让她保持年轻放松心情的好方法。

我是个小学生。我学习非常努力,而且我相信,好的成绩是对父母最好的回报。 我的家庭总是一切为我最好。他们总是在我身边。我爱我家里的每一个人。我爱我甜蜜的家。

English quotations 英文名言警句

1. All things in their being are good for something. 天生我才必有用。

2. Every journey of a thousand miles begins with one step 千里之行,始于足


3. Failure is the mother of success. 失败是成功之母。

4. While there is life there is hope. 一息若存,希望不灭。

5. Energy and persistence conquer all things. 能量加毅力可以征服一切。

6. A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush. 一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。

7. Actions speak louder than words. 事实胜于雄辩。

8. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 只会用功不玩耍,聪明孩子也


9. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 一天一苹果,不用请医生。 ??

10. Constant dripping wears away a stone. 水滴石穿,绳锯木断。

11. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. ??不要自找麻烦。 ??

12. He laughs best who laughs last. 谁笑到最后,谁笑得最好。 ??

13. Keep good men company and you shall be of the number. 近朱者赤,近墨

者黑。 ??

14. Many heads are better than one. 三个臭皮匠,赛过诸葛亮。

15. Man proposes, God disposes. 谋事在人,成事在天。 ??

16. Lost time is never found again. 岁月既往,一去不回。

17. It never leave that until tomorrow , which you can do today .今日事今日毕。

18. neve什么方法治疗癫痫病比较好r rains but it pours. 不鸣则已,一鸣惊人。

19. Do not have too many irons in the fire. 贪多嚼不烂。

20. One is never too old to learn. 活到老,学到老。??




具体要求: 1、以小组为单位编写一份8开8版的英文手抄报。 2、Front page在整版纸的右上方;必须有刊头,刊头下写明Exhibition of Practice Course (Dec., 2008 �CJan., 2009) by Team *, Class **, School of Foreign Studies, Hunan University of Science & Technology;刊名自拟,还可自创标志。 3、选编内容和自创内容各占一半,题材健康,图片、花边等不超过版面的三分之一。自创内容(文章末尾用by ***,并在标题处一标志表明凡带有此标志的文章属自创作品)与编选内容(文章末尾用from ***)各半;每个版面一个主题,各栏目都应围绕主题。 4、在报纸的合适位置写明Consultative Committee: Faculty of Major (1), School of Foreign Studies, Hunan University of Science & Technology; Supervisor: ***; Editor-in-chief: ***; Editor:***; Designer: ***; Members: ***,***。


I see the bread-winner still working hard under the fervent sun, soaking with sweat. I see mothers and wives devoting themselves fully on the domestic chores, waiting her husband and child back home. I see the children playing on the school ground, enjoying themselves totally in the care-free world with naive smile on their face. But I also see the concrete gigantic buildings collapsing in the twinkle of eyes, only hearing the slam bang and seeing the floating ashes on the sky. I see the men crying for their wives and children desperately towards the ruins. I also see a large crowds lying on the ground, which is floating with flood.

The above are the images I can imagine before and after the earthquake about Wenchuang earthquake in 2008.Actually,our China takes place more and more

natural disasters in recent years, such as mudslide, drought, earthquake, floods and so on, through which many people suffer a lot, both in material and in spirit aspects.

So we should think the urgent problem: why our China suffers more and more natural disasters in recent years? Excessive deforestation, grazing and exploiting resources inordinately may be the reasons, for many of us hold the conception that the natural resources is endless and human beings control the nature. And the facts evidence that they are woefully mistaken, for nature begins revenging on the enemies-our human beings through his own ways.

Therefore, we should seat down and think patiently and calmly how to deal with this urgent situation, otherwise, we would be responsible for the consequences one day for what we have done to the nature.(By Chen Huanya)



Protecting Nature(保护自然)

China has a very long and brilliant history, whose people are so friendly and hospitable. But I am wondering why some people pay such little attention to the environment and nature. In many places of the countryside, rivers have become stinking sewers and brooks have disappeared. Heaps of garbage obstructs the scarce flow of dirty water. The grounds are littered with plastic bottles and bags. People are cutting down trees even though it is illegal. In some towns, rubbish is hidden behind walls. Garbage cans are often of little use, making cleaners must rush all day long and also by night to clean the rubbish.

To make things worse, as a result of modernization, pollution is a serious problem. Nowadays we often breathe the dusty air and drink the dirty water. What's more, we always suffer from the noise and the heavy light pollution. I'm really tired of this life. I want to change it. If I have a chance, I will get up early to see the suise, in order to embrace our nature.

As far as I'm concerned, our nature is our mother. She offers us everything we want or need. If our nature disappears, human-beings will be in great danger. Therefore, we must love our nature unconditionally. Don't always ask too much from her but return her nothing. Moreover, as her sons and daughters, we should always appreciate for her bounty. (By Yin Kemin)


An earthquake (also known as a quake, tremor or temblor) is the result of a sudden release of energy in the Earth's crust that creates seismic waves. The seismicity, seismism or seismic activity of an area refers to the frequency, type and size of earthquakes experienced over a period of time.

At the Earth's surface, earthquakes manifest themselves by shaking and sometimes displacement of the ground. When the epicenter of a large earthquake is located offshore, the seabed may be displaced sufficiently to cause a tsunami. Earthquakes can also trigger landslides, and occasionally volcanic activity.

In its most general sense, the word earthquake is used to describe any seismic event ― whether natural or caused by humans ― that generates seismic waves.

Earthquakes are caused mostly by rupture of geological faults, but also by other events such as volcanic activity, landslides, mine blasts, and nuclear tests. An

earthquake's point of initial rupture is called its focus or hypocenter. The epicenter is the point at ground level directly above the hypocenter. (From Wikipedia ) <B3> Extratropical Cyclones(温带气旋)

Extratropical cyclones, sometimes called mid-latitude cyclones, are a group of cyclones defined as synoptic scale low pressure weather systems that occur in the middle latitudes of the Earth (outside the tropics) not having tropical characteristics, and are connected with fronts and horizontal gradients in temperature and dew

point otherwise known as "baroclinic zones". As with tropical cyclones, they卡马西平片对癫痫病有用吗 are known by different names in different regions. The most intense extratropical cyclones cause widespread disruption and damage to society.. Heat waves(热季狂潮)

A heat wave is a period of unusually and excessively hot weather. The worst heat wave in recent history was the European Heat Wave of 2003.

A summer heat wave in Victoria, Australia, created conditions which fuelled the massive bushfires in 2009. Melbourne experienced three days in a row of

temperatures exceeding 40°C (104°F) with some regional areas sweltering through much higher temperatures. The bushfires, collectively known as "Black Saturday", were partly the act of arsonists.Heat waves can occur in the ocean as well as on land with significant effects (often on a large scale). (From Wikipedia )


Nature, in the broadest sense, is equivalent to the natural, physical, or material

world or universe. "Nature" refers to the phenomena of the physical world, and also to life in general. It ranges in scale from the subatomic to the cosmic.

Nature may refer to the general realm of various types of living plants and animals, and in some cases to the processes associated with inanimate objects �C the way that particular types of things exist and change of their own accord, such as the weather and geology of the Earth, and the matter and energy of which all these things are composed. It is often taken to mean the "natural environment" or wilderness�Cwild animals, rocks, forest, beaches, and in general those things that have not been substantially altered by human intervention, or which persist despite human intervention.


Previously, I lived in the countryside where the sun always rose. Every morning, I got up early to see the suise. As the sun came out, trees, flowers, birds and other animals woke up from their long sleep and smiled gently towards the sun. “What a glorious view!” I whispered. But as I moved to the city, I could hardly see such a glorious view now. Nowadays, to make things worse, as a result of modernization, pollution is a serious problem. Nowadays we often breathe the dusty air and drink the dirty water. People quite a lot of harm to the nature in order to gain their own profit. As a result, we are gradually receiving the earth’s punishment. Now we are lacking of energy and facing environment problem. If I have a chance, I will get up early to see the suise, in order to embrace our nature. I eagerly want to return to our nature.

The nature, serves as the same role as water, giving us every indispensable thing that we need. Things like the beautiful sunshine, fresh air, and other abundant resources. We’re unable to survive without these. And there’s no need to be reminded that we must learn to live with the nature peacefully and harmoniously. The fact, however, usually turns out to be exact the opposite side. As we can see with our naked eyes, the air, the earth and the water have all been polluted because of the rapid but irregular development of industries. So here comes the question: are we still going to live in a world like this? Of course not. Nature is something irreversible, which deserves our every effort to make friends with. Therefore, we protect it while we use it, or on the dark side, we lose it.(By Liu Yan)



A rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky. It takes the form of a multicolored arc. Rainbows caused by sunlight always appear in the section of sky directly opposite the sun.

In a "primary rainbow", the arc shows red on the outer part and violet on the inner side. This rainbow is caused by light being refracted (bent) when entering a droplet of water, then reflected inside on the back of the droplet and refracted again when leaving it.

In a double rainbow, a second arc is seen outside the primary arc, and has the order of its colors reversed, red facing toward the other one in both rainbows. This second rainbow is caused by light reflecting twice inside water droplets.


Thunder is the sound caused by lightning. Depending on the distance and nature of the lightning, thunder can range from a sharp, loud crack to a long, low rumble (brontide). The sudden increase in pressure and temperature from lightning produces rapid expansion of the air surrounding and within a bolt of lightning. In turn, this expansion of air creates a sonic shock wave, similar to a sonic boom, which produces the sound of thunder, often referred to as a clap, crack, or peal of thunder. The distance of the lightning can be calculated by the listener based on the time interval from when the lightning is seen to when the sound is heard.The cause of thunder has been the subject of centuries of speculation and scientific inquiry. The first recorded theory is attributed to the Greek philosopher Aristotle in the third

century BC, and an early speculation was that it was caused by the collision of clouds. Subsequently, numerous other theories were proposed. By the mid-19th century, the accepted theory was that lightning produced a vacuum. (From Wikipedia )




Good luck, good health, hood cheer. I wish you a happy New Year.??祝好运、健康、佳肴伴你度过一个快乐新年。???? With best wishes for a happy New Year!??祝新年快乐,并致以良好的祝福。????

癫痫手术治疗需要多少钱">I hope you have a most happy and prosperous New Year.??谨祝新年快乐幸福,大吉大利。????

With the compliments of the season.??祝贺佳节。????

May the season's joy fill you all the year round.??愿节日的愉快伴你一生。????

Season's greetings and best wishes for the New Year.??祝福您,新年快乐。????

Please accept my season's greetings.??请接受我节日的祝贺。????

To wish you joy at this holy season. Wishing every happiness will always be with you.恭祝新年吉祥,幸福和欢乐与你同在?? Good health, good luck and much happiness throughout the year.??恭祝健康、幸运,新年快乐。????

May the joy and happiness around you today and always.??愿快乐幸福永伴你左右。????

Please accept my sincere wishes for the New Year. I hope you will continue??to enjoy good health.??请接受我诚挚的新年祝福,顺祝身体健康。????

Allow me to congratulate you on the arrival of the New Year and to extend to??you all my best wishes for your perfect health and lasting prosperity.??恭贺新禧,祝身体健康、事业发达。????

Best wishes for the holidays and happiness throughout the New Year.??恭贺新禧,万事如意。????


Hope you will join with me in bringing in the new spring.??愿和你一起迎春接福。 ????

The coming of spring means the coming of new hopes.??春天的来临,象征新希望的到来。 ????

May you have many dreams fulfilled.??祝你许多美梦都能成真。 ????

We wish you a renewed hope in life.??我们祝福你再度燃起生命的希望。 ????

Please join us to light off firecrackers.??让我们一起来燃放爆竹除旧岁。 ????

We hope your family and my family can get together for a celebration like last year.??我们希望你们全家与我们家能像去年一样,聚在一起共同庆祝新年。 ????

Wishing you and your family peace and prosperity for the coming year.??祝福你与家人吉祥平安。 ????

May the people of the nation live happily and wealthily this upcoming year.??愿新的一年里国富民安。



There is a park near my home.There are a lot of beautiful trees,flowers and birds in the park.So many people go to the park to enjoy their weekends.They like walking or having a picnic in the park.But I like flying a kite with my sisiter there.??



I have a small bedroom.There are only a small bed,a small desk and a small chair in the room.And there is a beautiful doll on my blue bed.Everyday I do my homework,read books and play games with the doll in my bedroom.It is small,but it gives me much happiness.??


My father??

My father is a tall and handsome man.He is a policeman. Everyday he comes back home very late,because he must help the others.He doesn't have time to examine my homework and take me to the park.But I like my father,because he is a good policeman.????


A Fox, just at the time of the vintage, stole into a vine-yard where the ripe sunny Grapes were trellised up on high in most tempting show. He made many a spring and a jump after the luscious prize, but, failing in all his attempts, he muttered as he retreated:"Well what does it matter! The Grapes are sour!"????

译文: 正当葡萄熟了的时候,一只狐狸偷偷地溜进了葡萄园。葡萄架上高高地挂着亮晶晶的、熟透了的葡萄,显得十分诱人。他跳了好几跳,蹦了好几蹦,想吃到这甘美的葡萄,但是他的企图全落空了,走开的时候,他自言自语说:"得了!这有什么!这葡萄是酸的。"??

Sam had a dog.Its name was Tod.It was very helpful,but it ate too much..So he didn't like it.He wanted to kill Tod. He tied Tod in a bag and put it in the small boat.He rowed the boat to the middle of a big river. Just as he threw the poor animal into the river,the boat began to sink. Both began Sam and Tod fell into the river.

Tod was able to swim,but Sam couldn't.The dog bit the rope and broke it. It tried its best to swim to save Sam. The man was saved,so he was very thankful to the dog .He didn't want to kill the dog any more .From then on, he gave the dog as much food as it wanted.




Happy new year??

The new year is coming!Now,it's the time to make plans for the new year.Here is what I will do:??

I will get better grades.I'm good at English and Chinese, but I need to improve in my Math.I'll study better!????

2.I will break my bad habits.I often get up very very late. To get early is good for my health. So I'll get up earlier than usual.????

3.I will eat better.Ioften eat a lot of junk food. they are not good for my health.I should eat more fruits and

vegetables.Theu will make my body healthier and stronger.??

This year was a good year for me,but I can make next year even better.I'll work hard to keep my resolutions??

??Happy new year??

New year is coming.we all very happy,because we can eat many snack and we also eat jiaozi . is`t very nice.we are

cleaning our rooms and send presents to our parent.On the first day of the Spring Festival, most of people get up early and say “happy new year."How happy I am.??


A crow, ready to die with thirst, flew with joy to a pitcher石家庄癫痫病治疗最好的专科医院 which he saw at a distance. But when he came up to it, he found the water so low that with all his stooping and straining he was unable to reach it. Thereupon he tried to bread the pitcher, then to overturn it, seeing some small pebbles at hand, he dropped a great many of them, one by one, into the pitcher, and so raised the water to the brim, and quenched his thirst.

译 文 一只快渴死的乌鸦,远远地看见一只水壶,就高兴地飞了过去,但是当他飞到的时候发现壶里的水浅得怎么用力弯腰伸颈也够不着,于是他试着把水壶打破,又试着把他推倒。但是力量不足,都做不到,最后看见近边有许多小石子,他一个个地把很多石子丢进了水壶,这样使水上升到壶口,就解了渴。


China the youthful青春中国

Among the many pretty ones, 万千佳丽,

Only you do not use makeup. 唯有你不施脂粉。

Your feelings are genuine, 一片纯情,

You have a radiance all your own... 光彩照人......

You are youthful! 你是青春!

Among scores of high mountains, 百十山岳间,

Only you have a longer horizon. 唯有你天开地阔。

Looking for close friedds among equals, 平等中寻觅挚友,

And building up oneself through honest deeds...以诚实营造自我...

You are China! 你是中国!


Live and learn . 活到老,学到老.

No one can call back yesterday.昨日不复来.

With hope ,no one shall file.只要怀有希望,谁也不会失败.

You never know what you can do till you try. 不尝试,就不知道你自己能干什么.

No pain, no gain. 不劳则无获.

A mother's love never changes. 母爱永恒。

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 一天一苹果,不用请医生。

A new broom sweeps clean. 新官上任三把火。

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 以眼还眼,以牙还牙。

An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening. 一日之计在于晨。

An old dog cannot learn new tricks. 老狗学不出新把戏。

An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom. 聪明才智,不如运气。

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 预防为主,治疗为辅。

A rolling stone gathers no moss. 滚石不生苔,转业不聚财。

As a man sows, so he shall reap. 种瓜得瓜,种豆得豆。

A single flower does not make a spring. 一花独放不是春,百花齐放春满园。

A snow year, a rich year. 瑞雪兆丰年。

A sound mind in a sound body. 健全的精神寓于健康的身体。

a heart of steel. 铁石心肠

to be guided by destiny. 听天由命

pride goes before a fall 骄者必败 .

the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemywithout weapon 不战而屈人之兵

what is bugging you 什么事使你心烦

sworn brother 干兄弟, 盟兄弟

it’s dying art 这是已失传的手艺

gentlemen agreement 君子协定

I'm trying to make ends meet 我尽力要使收支平衡

prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. 富贵结朋友, 患难见真情

if you wish to be the best man, you must suffer thebitterest of the bitter. 吃得苦中苦, 方为人上人

it is better to fight for good than to fail at the ill. 宁为善而斗, 毋屈服于恶

he who has hope has everything. 怀有希望者, 便拥有一切

self-trust is the first secret of success. 自信心是成功的首要关键

the secret of success is constancy of purpose. 成功的秘绝在于目标坚定有恒

success grows out of struggles to overcome difficulties. 成功源于努力去克服困难

experience is the extract of suffering. 经验是受苦的结晶


Thus the highest form of generalship is to balk the enemy's plans;the next best is to prevent the junction of the enemy's forces;the next in order is to attack the

All things in their being are good for something. 天生我才必有用。

Difficult circumstances serve as a textbook of life for people. 困难坎坷是人们的生活教科书。

Failure is the mother of success. -- Thomas Paine 失败乃成功之母。

For man is man and master of his fate. 人就是人,是自己命运的主人。

The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates 混混噩噩的生活不值得过。 -- 苏格拉底

None is of freedom or of life deserving unless he daily conquers it anew. -- Erasmus


Our destiny offers not the cup of despair, but the chalice of opportunity. So let us seize it, not in fear, but in gladness. -- R.M. Nixon


Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass. -- John Ruskin 生活没有目标,犹如航海没有罗盘。-- 罗斯金 What makes life dreary is the want of motive. -- George Eliot 没有了目的,生活便郁闷无光。 -- 乔治 ・ 埃略特 Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored. -- Lincoln


There is no such thing as a great talent without great will - power. -- Balzac

没有伟大的意志力,便没有雄才大略。 -- 巴尔扎克

The good seaman is known in bad weather. 惊涛骇浪,方显英雄本色。

Fear not that the life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --J.H. Newman

不要害怕你的生活将要结束,应该担心你的生活永远不会真正开始。 -- 纽曼

Gods determine what you're going to be. -- Julius Erving 人生的奋斗目标决定你将成为怎样的人。 -- 欧文

An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

生活的目标,是唯一值得寻找的财富。-- 史蒂文森

While there is life there is hope. 一息若存,希望不灭。 -- 英国谚语

Try not to become a man of success but rather